Questioner (Q): (In tears, sitting next to the Speaker, by the Ganges and the Himalayas. Overwhelmed by his weeklong presence in the Speaker’s discourses) Why is it difficult to even be here?
Acharya Prashant (AP): Something is difficult if you try to fight. Something is difficult only if you try to do something about it. If you don’t have to do anything, then where is the difficulty? Here is this mountain, if you want to move this mountain then it is very difficult, but if you can just sit here and admire this mountain, then is there a difficulty? Forget about even admiring, if you can just see the whole presence of this mountain, its action, its landscape, the way it seems to be dividing space, the way it is attractive in a way, the way it is dangerous. All the stories that go along with this mountain, if you can just see all of that and do nothing, then where is the difficulty?
Same is fear. If you want to do something with fear, if you try to fight it, or suppress it, or overcome it – don’t do anything, let it be there. I have a cold right now, what to do? How can I fight it? The cold is there, the throat is not quite proper. I am speaking, to the extent possible.
Q: I feel like I did something wrong. And that I deserve this feeling of unease. That it’s not yet the right time for me to find peace.
AP: See, first of all, never be so unfair to yourself that you go into a cycle of guilt or helplessness. We all are alright, no one is obliged to suffer or feel guilty or anything. We all are good. Even the situation in which we are, this confidence must be there that I might have been stained a little, but the stains can be easily washed away. The stains are not going to touch my soul, the stain will only touch the body and I can clean them, clear them. So never feel bad about yourself, never feel guilty. Never have pity upon yourself.
Even when you discover that you have made a grave mistake - and we all make mistakes - when you discover that you have made a grave mistake, let it not become a judgment on your self-worth. Never let it become a judgment on your self-worth. Just see that you have made a mistake, a so-called ‘mistake’. Just see that “Fine, fine, it could have been done in another way and I think that it was done this way. I think that something improper has been done, I also see that the results are there”, but don’t let that make you feel small. Never. Keep a big heart. Always. Even when the worst crime has been committed by you.
Even in the moment of your greatest fall, still do not feel small. Back yourself completely. Be your biggest fan.
Q: Yesterday you spoke about relationships. My girlfriend is not here today because she says that she’s not ready for this. I’m spiritual, I’m here. I am afraid that after I stay more and more in touch with you, she and I will not be able to communicate, to be on the same page.
AP: Spirituality never harms anybody. Never. Truth is always good for everybody, without exception. In the beginning, it may look as if some harm is happening but have Faith that it will be good for you and good for her, good for everybody in general. In fact, whatever happens, will be good, that is the only definition of good. Whatever happens, in the guidance of Truth, is good. So don’t worry about the consequences. When you are devoted to the Right One then the consequences are always right. So, pay no attention to what would happen in the future and continue to be loving, continue to have an open heart.
Is that why she didn’t come today?
Q: She says that your discourses are like a university of Spirituality and feels that she is in kindergarten.
AP: No, no. Just tell her that I have invited her for the evening session. Would you do that? Just tell her that very lovingly, I have invited her for the evening. And it is not at all a university or anything. We all are kids, I’m a kid, you too are a kid. We are just having fun. Truth is not something special. It is ordinary, nice, small, beautiful.
And you know, one day you will look back and have a good laugh at how seriously you were taking all this, seriously. One day you will look at your own picture, in this moment, and have fun looking at the picture.
Q: (In tears) I can imagine this.
AP: (Laughingly) Yes?
Q: I was stuck with these spiritual teachings which are actually just avoidance of facts of life. I was going to a renowned Guru here in Rishikesh, and he kept talking of the higher truth etc. I see that all this higher truth talk allowed me to avoid my everyday situations and I did this for a really long time. Now, I see that I am at the beginning actually. Simple things, I have been carrying fear all my life, since I was a child. Always so afraid.
AP: Sometimes it is there in the body itself, but it is alright. If it is being experienced, it is very good news. Very-very good news because it means that it is now ripe to go away. Experience means that it is now in the domain of open consciousness, now you know. You are able to experience it through senses, think about it through the mind. Now, the apparatus that you are, that apparatus would want you to do something about it.
Q: The apparatus?
AP: The machine, the apparatus that we are, now it wants to do something about that conditioning. So it is not at all bad news.
You see, if a car engine is lying idle for a long time, a very long time. Let’s say the car has not been turned on for two years and then you ignite it. Then it is not surprising that the engine is a little cranky and if the smoke is too black and from here and there noises arise. That happens, for years, the car has not been operational. But the smoke, the noise, they are good news. They prove that the engine is alive. So, tears are almost like smoke, which proves that there is life, the heart is beating.
Q: Yes, I do feel like I have been shut down since long.
(Silence)
Q: You know, these books, I read a wisdom book every month. It helped me in no way. The meditations – they too didn’t help.
AP: But now read them again, and you will find beauty in them. The same words will have different meanings.
Q: I was reading Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching. It is said that you have to stop doing everything and then you connect with this eternal nothingness. One has been trying so hard, so much strife, so much effort and I hear some other people – with their expectations, of what they think of me, what they expect of me, and I see the ego working but I cannot stop it, it is so strong, it is holding me in its fist.
AP: The ego is already weakening if you are seeing all this. You know it is a rebellion against the ego to speak all this. The very fact that you are able to say that the ego has a grip on you means that the grip is not very tight.
Q: (Repeats, as if confirming) It’s not very tight?
AP: It’s not very tight.
And the grip will remain, the grip will remain. Do not expect overnight transformation. But you will become more comfortable with the grip. You will not be so afraid. Next time when you see that the grip of the ego is tight, you will say, “Alright, I see that you are there.”
Q: What do you think about people having experiences with drugs, mushrooms? Many people claim that they have ‘spiritual experiences’ through drugs.
AP: We are already drunk. What will we get by getting more drunk? So intoxication, psychedelic drugs, they all only make you more tipsy.
